The sound of silence

Well, well, well, it has been an awful long time since I last posted! And boy has a lot happened in that intervening time! Namely I got pregnant!

I have to confess I have struggled a bit so far in the pregnancy. Not physically, although nausea that could only be abated by McCoys salt & vinegar crisps was not a fun way to spend the first few months, but mentally. You see, when we decided to start trying we did so on the assumption that it would take us a-g-e-s to conceive. My sisters all told me so, friends said so, Dr Google said so, so I really wasn’t expecting to get knocked up pretty much instantly. The problem is that I don’t feel ready yet, there are things I wanted to do, I had a place in the London Marathon to train for (now deferred), my career is still in a limbo stage, we had been planning to do a loft conversion – but it happened.

I am well aware that this sounds all incredibly ungrateful. I am not. I realise that there are some people who really struggle to have children, and some who are unable for whatever reason to have any, and I feel extremely lucky to have this little person who is growing inside me & making himself more known to me everyday. It’s just sometimes at 5am, when I’ve had to get up for the 3rd time in the night and I’m struggling to get back to sleep, I can’t help worrying about all the changes he will bring and how that is going to effect everything and how we are going to cope with it all. As my boss said, ‘welcome to motherhood, you will never stop worrying’!

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Mindful Mondays

Following on from the last post of feeling the need to appreciate the small things in life which make me smile, rather than focusing on the things that are making me anxious, I’m starting a new series: Mindful Mondays. Looking back at things the last week which have made me smile and brought a little happiness into my life!

Sunny Clapham Common

               Sunny Clapham Common

Monday saw a beautifully sunny cycle to work

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Tuesday I cheered myself up by buying myself some lovely flowers

(no idea what they are though – does anyone know?)

Nurse Lucy

                               Nurse Lucy

Unfortunately I spent Thursday and Friday home sick although I did have this little ball of fur curled up on my lap which went some way to making me feel a little less sorry for myself!

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By Saturday I felt well enough to leave the house and went on my favourite ride to Deen City Farm – highly recommended for children (and adults!) if you’re in the area!

Sticky golden syrup loaf cake

         Sticky golden syrup loaf cake

My appetite had also definitely returned – especially when I saw Ruby Tandoh’s amazing recipe in the Guardian for sticky golden syrup loaf cake – I think Mr P was pretty happy too!

Here’s to a fantastic week ahead!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

It seems sometimes that when everything seems to go so right, that other things have to go very wrong at the same time. At least that is how this year has been feeling recently. In many ways I have been having the most wonderful, unforgettable year.

I am fitter than I have ever been before thanks to project ‘get wedding fit’ which resulted in me smashing my PB in the blistering heat of the Hackney Half, before going on to beat it again at the Richmond Running Festival Half.

I got married and officially became Mrs P, surrounded by my wonderful family and friends and a pretty awesome cheese wedding cake.

The most amazing cheese wedding cake

Enough cheese to feed a village (or a bride and groom no longer on a diet!)

We went on honeymoon to Mexico for three weeks where we ate our body weight in tacos and I got to fulfil a life long dream to visit Chichen Itza and swim with whale sharks. (I also managed to get sea sickness & food poisoning within a 24 hour period, thus severely testing the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of the wedding vows very early in our marriage).

The amazing Chichen Itza

The amazing Chichen Itza

I entered the ballot for the London Marathon for the first time and actually flipping got in! With this luck maybe I should start playing the lottery??

Holy crap I'm in!

Holy crap I’m in!

But then, with these good times have unfortunately come the bad. A death in the family, some worrying news about a friend I care about, and an uncertain future work wise have all left me reeling and feeling anxious. When I chose the title of the blog ‘Running on Empty’ it was mainly to reflect my love of food and running, however it also refers to ‘running on empty’ mentally. That time when things don’t seem so easy and life doesn’t feel like it is going to plan. While at the moment things feel that way, I am trying to hold on to the fact that things will (hopefully) get better, and in the meantime try to practise a little mindfulness and remember the little things in life which bring a smile to my face, rather than the worries and problems which I have little control over.

 

Juneathon Day 6 – an unexpectedly long ride

No boot camp today as it’s Friday & my longed for lunch time run didn’t materialise due to a pesky thing called work commitments getting in the way.

However, my lovely nephew turns 7 on Sunday (how did that happen?) so I arranged with my sister to drop my present off on the way home. Despite us both living technically in west London it is a bit of a detour but the weather was so beautiful I didn’t mind. I first cycled through Hyde park & Kensington gardens, passing by the lovely Albert memorial before carrying on down to chiswick.
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Present duly delivered, glass of wine drunk & a kick about with my nephew later & I was off home. First down the river and past the pirate ship.

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Before I followed the river up to hammersmith gazing longingly at the sail boats – I used to sail in holland when I was younger & really miss it

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Unfortunately by the time I got to Putney I realised that I had got a flat tire which put paid to any plans on getting home quickly. I managed to trudge to Earlsfield before the intrepid Mr P rescued me & fixed my tire in exchange for a pint.

Juneathon day 6 – 18 miles cycling & 2 miles trudging with a flat tire.

Juneathon Day 5 – punching above my weight

Watching the clouds looking rather ominous outside my window at work this afternoon I was rather hoping it would rain so I could wuss out of box fit tonight. However it started to look sunnier & as I only had one class left of this particular group I decided to take the bull by the horns & get it over with.

Unsuprisingly once I got there I actually really enjoyed it – the park was sunny & there was a great atmosphere. I even got to punch a vicar which was a definite first for me!

Juneathon day 5 – 14 mile bike commute & 1 hour box fit

Juneathon day 4 and I’m sodding wet

I can’t believe it’s currently Juneathon – I feel like it should be more janathon with this weather. I thought I’d managed to dodge the worst of it with grey looking skies on the cycle in and it was blue skies on my cycle to fit club but the heavens opened by the end of it & I was completely soaked on my ride home. I’m now lying on my sofa wrapped in my dressing gown & drinking hot chocolate – surely more of a winter activity??

Juneathon day 4 – 14 mile cycle commute & 1 hour cardio core boot camp

Juneathon day 3 – morning run commute

I am really not a morning person. I’m normally kicked out of bed by either Mr P or Lucy the cat who has even been known to give me a slap in order to get me out of bed faster (Lucy, not Mr P!!) However I knew that tonight I’d be catching up with friends and that work was likely to be too busy to sneak out for a lunch-time run so a run in to work it was!

Despite having my arse kicked at bootcamp last night I actually didn’t feel too bad this morning and after the first mile I started to wake up and enjoy it a bit more. Since starting the new improved fitness routine this year I’ve felt my speed and stamina really improving and I was heartened to see that I managed to run the run in 1:04:33 (including stopping for traffic lights!) – a good ten minutes faster than what I was logging at the beginning of the year.

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Juneathon Day 3 – 7.97 miles in 1:04:33 at 08:06 pace